1. |
What Have I Done
04:09
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Midday dying
The sunlight fades away
Watching as the night
Overtakes the day
Worrying about the
Quickly waning light
And how I'm gonna spend the
endless fucking night
What have I done
To stem the never ending fear?
What have I done
To let the world know I was here?
What have I done
To face the fire and the flames?
What have I done
To think that you would know my name?
What can I do to keep the
Flames of hope alive?
To keep the path from shadows
To keep the spark alight?
To keep the tracks uncovered
From deep eternal snow
And leave this world with just a
Just anything to show
Cuz I take solace knowing
That when I’m all but dust
That maybe someone out there
will just remember I was...here
Dying a little
On the inside
Dying a little
Everyday
Dying a little
Because the clock is ticking and I can't stop it
And I don't know what lies ahead
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2. |
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Wake up again, each day like the last
It all bleeds together, no future, no past
The outlook is grim, just more of the same
You’re just pawn in this bullshit game
Press and fold your suit, be part of the lie
That you’re working towards some bigger meaning in life
You’re a well-dressed slave, dying a little inside
But yet you insist on still clinging to your desperat life
Walk to the train, slave to the grind
The boss is bitching cuz you’re never on time
Every day you die inside
But you’re still clinging to your desperat life
The house, and the car, and the kids
The lawn and the job and the phone and the bills
Slam one down and weep inside cuz
Your desperat life is killing you
They say who you are
They say what you do
They’re stealing your life
From underneath you
And you blindly agree
To be part of the team
So that every day
It’s fucking…
Bus then train then work then bed then
Bus then train then work then dead then
Bus then train then work then bed then
Put that bullet in your head
And it’s for your desperat life:
The house and the car and the kids
The lawn, the job, the phone, the bills
Slam another one down and weep
Cuz this is why you keep on clinging to your
Deperat life
Punch in, clock out
Lean in, check out
Punch in, clock out
Sit back, lights out
Punch in, clock out
Lean in, check out
Punch in, clock out
Cock back, lights out
Cuz it's fucking...
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3. |
This World Is Infected
03:31
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There is not a single difference
Beast and man, all the same
We are the scum of the earth
We are the only ones to blame
Wash it all, all away now
Turn the clocks all back to null
Cure the world of its blight
Because the world is fucking ill
If you look into the mirror
And you really truly see
Then you'll understand that this is
The way it has to be
We sell our own self interest
To the ones with the highest check
Destroy the world around us
And leave it all a wreck
Pollute the air we breathe in
And live like fucking pigs
Drowned in the shit we discard
While fighting for the dregs
Draw lines between our neighbor
As an excuse to slaughter
Meanwhile we covet his wife
And lust after his daughter
I wanna see you crying
I wanna see your churches burn
I wanna see your people die
It's what you deserve
I wanna see you crying
I wanna see our churches burn
I wanna see our people die
It's what we deserve
This is what we get for
Believing in some way out
That someone was out there to save us
Save us from ourselves
Burn it away with nuclear fire
Reset. Erase. Obliterate. There's no tomorrow.
Sanitize and purify this
Sad excuse of an existence
Terminate the human race and
Realize this world's infected
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4. |
Rats In A Maze
03:07
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Every day burning down
Bridges that got me here
Ashes fall to waste
I let them fall to waste
Trapped inside these walls I struggle
Screams don’t make a sound
Feces in my eyes and mouth
As blood falls to the ground
Rats in a maze
Clawing at the walls with bloody
Nails, there’s so much pain
Trying to escape
But there’s no escape
Shadowed figures watch us as we are
Fighting for our lives
Rejoicing in our agony and
Laughing at our cries
Clawing, writhing, ripping, biting
Seething, scratching, rats in a maze
Clawing, writhing, ripping, biting
Scratching, searching for any way out
Clawing, writhing, ripping, biting
Scratching, rats in a maze
Clawing, writhing, ripping, biting
Seething, but there’s no way out
There’s no salvation
There’s no escaping this
We’re all just vermin scum
Drowning in our piss
This is your life: you live,
You struggle, then you die
No light can pierce the haze
We’re all just fucking rats in a maze
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5. |
Hanged By Guilt
03:47
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Red lines draw the boundaries
A streak of blood in the sand
There's no forgiveness for
Obfuscating my fatherland
Corporations the new alpha
Green suit trumps red white and blue
Judges stolen, children kidnapped
Pestilence to name a few
Duped by conmen
and flashy signs
By catchy slogans
and fragrant lies
Blame it on the others because they
They can't fight back
But it's not just his fault, it's because of you
When all of the dust has fallen
I hope you are hanged by guilt
All the families you've destroyed
And all the senseless blood you've spilt
When this shit's all done and over
I hope you are hanged by guilt
Ruined country, ruined earth
Ruined everything we've built
And meanwhile, we've forgotten how to get angry
Cuz that's how this shit will be won
Cuz we've got marches and rallies
But they're the ones with the guns
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6. |
Golden Shackles
04:41
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She paints in a world of color
Scarlet, leaf, red and blue
But her masters tell she must
Paint in duller hues
Daylight slowly dying
Like the light behind your eyes
Ambition bought and sold
As inner hopes are free to die
And the person you wanted to be
Is still whimpering in your heart
But her screams are getting fainter
Cuz she’s bound and chained by golden shackles
So she draws in mauve and taupe but
the masters hate it still
So she draws in black and white and
they open up the till
And the person you wanted to be
Is turning into dust
Ground into an ashen waste
Because she's chained and bound by golden shackles
Crash your ship into the rocks
Lured by sirens of green and gold
Dance beneath the money tree
It only costs your fucking soul
Forty years later and her will has been broken
Black and white and shades of gray
No joy, no family, no self worth
And the masters no longer pay
When she looks back at the youth that
Was wasted for just a dime
She wishes she could’ve done more but
Now she’s run out of time
Our own abandoned dreams
Are the deaths we never mourn
We just let them fade away
Passing clouds in a starless night sky
But I refuse to let this die
I refuse to let them go
I’m fighting with every last breath
Because I’m not fucking dead yet
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7. |
How Much Can You Take
04:19
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They work for you
They say they need your vote
But they're all bought and paid for
It's just a fucking joke
They say to keep the faith
And trust in god
But where's that god gonna be
When they choose not to spare the rod
You work for them
They pay by check
Then they crack the whip and tie a
Fucking noose 'round your neck
Profiting off your sweat
They ride you to the bank
And then expect you to be the
One who’ s giving thanks
They want you to blame the poor
Or the Jews or the gays
All the white they sit back and they
Capitalize on the hate
And then day after day
They shove our face in the dirt
And we just take it
Is this what we deserve?
Every day they beat you down
How much can you take?
Dying like a slave
How much can you take?
They're here to serve and protect
Unless you're poor or you're black
Then they just tell you to run
And shoot you in the back
Every day a part of you dies
Drowning in a sea of lies
Every day the machine marches on
Grinding up the worthless pawns
He says he can save you
From all your sins
All he needs is money
And silence from your kids.
Every day they beat you down
How much can you take?
Dying like a slave
How much can you take?
This is no way to live
How much can you take?
Ask yourself
How much can you take?
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8. |
The Fire Inside
02:19
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I feel so empty
Running down the same old paths
But the ends are not the same
Because youth and freedom never last
What begins as a thing familiar
Ends the night, false and hollow
Fields I once reaped for pleasure
Are now barren, dead, and fallow
Many years later and I can still count them
But through the haze of time they seem
Like broken dreams half remembered
Fantasies from another me
Lost. Life.
I still wish to lay upon sands of foreign shores
Lost. Life.
To sip from a cup that I've not even handled
But those days are gone, and the light of my youth has gone with them
Lost. Life.
The choices I've made have plotted the course
Lost. Life.
I've made these choices
And the plot cannot be rewritten
Many years later and still I can count them
But through the haze of time they seem
Like broken dreams half remembered
Fantasies of another fucking me
I cannot change what has been done
What never was and never will be
from this day on and I can
No longer be the man who was
Because he is dead to time and his virulence and his strength
Have all died with him
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9. |
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10. |
Judgement
04:19
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I see white sand all around me
But it’s not all that it seams
It hides its truer meaning
Beneath the sparkling gleam
Fade away into oblivion
The fate of each it seams
The lives of all our fathers
And all their dead-end dreams
And all those fucking houses
That they had fought to build
Will all erode nothing
Eroded all to silt
And those precious shrines will
Become eternal ash
The blackness takes all memories
Ghosts of an unlit past
Come judgment day
Come what judgement may
The life you led, and the one you wish you had
Becoming one, becoming none
It’s all just black
In the end
Blinded by an empty promise
Advertised with holy words
Too dumb to realize that
It's so fucking absurd
As it was in the beginning
Will it be in the end
It says so in the book but
We chose to play pretend
You are a puppet
Made of bone
Pulled by strings of sinew
Controlled by a brain
A puppet master
Who thinks that he is the puppet
You are a puppet
Made of bone
Pulled by strings of sinew
Controlled by a brain
A puppet master
Who thinks that she is the fucking puppet
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11. |
I'm Fucking Trying
07:00
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I’m at a diverging path deep
Inside these fucking woods
And this one doesn't look like
The way I thought it would
Shattered mirrors hang from an aging
Pair of lipolytic limbs
A pale gaunt specter stands stooped
Over where I should have been
Everyday
I ask the question
Everyday
Do I want this life
In the shrubs lie jackals
They smile, but hide their teeth
They lurk in deathly shadows
And want the worst of me
Do I choose to sate the jackals
And let them bite my hand?
Do I let a piece of me die
For the sake of making friends?
I tread the same old paths
But the ends don’t provide
The joy of life inside me
Has already long since died
I’m looking for a way out
Don’t want to feel so hollow
I look for light in darkness
But see just more to follow
I feel so empty
I feel so dead inside
The joy of life inside me
Has gone and long since died
I had always thought that
things would turn out different
But I'm picking up the pieces
And making the best of it.
The hopelessness and failure
The struggle and the pain
The realization that you will amount to nothing
I'm doing my best
I'm trying to cope
I'm trying to do better and accept
That I will amount to nothing
And I might fail, but
I'm
Fucking
Trying
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Total Waste New York, New York
Total Waste is a D-beat project in the style of Disfear, Wolfbrigade, Avskum, etc, with a hint of grind and death.
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