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I'm Fucking Trying

from Rats In A Maze by Total Waste

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lyrics

I’m at a diverging path deep
Inside these fucking woods
And this one doesn't look like
The way I thought it would

Shattered mirrors hang from an aging
Pair of lipolytic limbs
A pale gaunt specter stands stooped
Over where I should have been

Everyday
I ask the question
Everyday
Do I want this life

In the shrubs lie jackals
They smile, but hide their teeth
They lurk in deathly shadows
And want the worst of me

Do I choose to sate the jackals
And let them bite my hand?
Do I let a piece of me die
For the sake of making friends?

I tread the same old paths
But the ends don’t provide
The joy of life inside me
Has already long since died
I’m looking for a way out
Don’t want to feel so hollow
I look for light in darkness
But see just more to follow

I feel so empty
I feel so dead inside
The joy of life inside me
Has gone and long since died

I had always thought that
things would turn out different
But I'm picking up the pieces
And making the best of it.

The hopelessness and failure
The struggle and the pain
The realization that you will amount to nothing
I'm doing my best
I'm trying to cope
I'm trying to do better and accept
That I will amount to nothing

And I might fail, but

I'm
Fucking
Trying

credits

from Rats In A Maze, released September 9, 2022

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Total Waste New York, New York

Total Waste is a D-beat project in the style of Disfear, Wolfbrigade, Avskum, etc, with a hint of grind and death.

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Featuring Riley Pinkerton (aka The Rat Queen) from the theatrical NYC rockers, Castle Rat.
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